What happens a lot nowadays is that we tend to focus on what we can’t control rather than focusing on what we can control.

By focusing on what can’t be controlled, an example is how our weight changes. One week our weight might change by 1kg. The next it changes by 200grams and the next week, it may stay the same.

What creates frustration and a negative mindset is that more effort and eating healthier can occur.

Yet there can be less change or no change.

That is because weight is going to fluctuate for many reasons and we have no control over that.

This is where a tornado of bad thoughts comes into the head. It flushes out all the positive thoughts and makes it hard to continue.

Start thinking that it is too hard, feel even more guilty when eating out, scared to step on the scales the next time, feel like a failure and don’t want to share the result with friends/family, may even avoid friends/family for that reason and may become more insecure when going out in public.

Wheres, focusing on what can be controlled, like training 3 times per week, tracking how much food and drinks have been consumed per day, parking further away from the grocery store and work to increase movement throughout the week and not weighing yourself, are all things that we can control.

This will make it easier to enjoy the journey and sticking to what is being done. It takes the stress away from feeling guilty when going out and eating high-calorie meals. This is because you know how to manage it and how to make it fit into your weekly routine.

It takes the stress away from wondering if you should train more per week just to double make sure you lose weight or enough of it to be happy.

Focusing on what you can control allows room for a balance where there is more enjoyment. It increases motivation, makes the journey more manageable. It also makes it easier to get up in the morning and get on with the day as the weight is a by-product, not the sole focus.

And if you do happen to weigh yourself and you are not happy where you are, you know how to make small adjustments to what you are doing to make it work.

It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it and how you manage it.

No quick fix is going to create permanent change. Everything including the kitchen sink has been thrown in to achieve the result. What happens when you cut back to what is more manageable. You won’t know the tools to continue and maintain what you have for 2 important reasons. No habits were created and it wasn’t enjoyable as you thought it was going to be.

Enjoy the journey and start thinking long term if you want a lifestyle change.

Read part 3 of “how to become more confident in your own skin” to learn about creating habits.