Living other peoples life, goals, ideas, and dreams is an easy trap to fall into, and I’ve learned the hard way to guard myself against this. We all are needing support and guidance in our lives, and a lot of it is very useful.

The danger is when we don’t assess the advice and how it is currently going to fit into our lifestyle.

Whether it be healthy eating advice, exercise, lifestyle habits, etc. you need to assess first where you are, second what your goal is and third if you are at a point that this advice will bring you closer to achieving your goal.

I had a conversation today with a member about how she thought she should be drinking lemon water in the morning because her neighbor said it would be suitable for her weight loss goal. Another friend said she should be counting calories. Another person said to drink a glass of water before every meal, and yet another said an hour of cardio activity every day. On and on the advice came to her and she willingly tried to juggle and use all of it. She does want to lose weight and is willing to do everything she can to improve her chances of success.

Let me pause and preface this with a note about giving advice. When asked for, is a good thing. Don’t expect people to take your advice but by all means, give it freely. The danger this particular woman was falling into was trying to do everything everyone told her to do without taking into account her lifestyle, goals, and aspirations. She also was trying everything without ascertaining how her own body functions.

This particular woman was so wrapped up in so many different ideas and doing so many different things she was becoming overwhelmed and wanted to give up on her goal completely. Changing habits and routines is difficult and takes time, especially with the goal of weight loss. It is definitely a lifestyle change that takes perseverance, support, and consistency.

I sat down with this woman and had her write down all the advice she was trying to follow. She was feeling like a complete failure because she just couldn’t keep up with it all. We discussed her current eating habits, exercise regiment, and lifestyle. The advice she listed was good advice, but some of it we determined weren’t right for her and where she was today.

We then set three health and fitness goals that she would work on in the next week. (Notice I said work on and not be perfect at.  Give yourself room to fail because that’s how you grow.) She said she felt like a weight was lifted off her after our talk and felt encouraged and excited to see how much she could stick to her goals in the coming week. By taking a step back and setting herself up to achieve her own goal in her way gave her power, energy, and happiness.

This woman’s story is similar to other things you might be trying to achieve in life. First, make sure that what you are working towards is something you want. Next, assess where you are today and mark the distance between where you are and where you want to be. Third, make a map of how you’re going to get there based on where you are today. Will your map change? Yes, because you change, your circumstances change and your lifestyle will change. You might also get some great advice that you want to add to your map, but the number one thing to remember is to live your life. Remembering this one thing will bring you happiness, fulfillment, and peace.