Having it all. I have asked myself, is there such thing? Haven’t I expected to have it all?

Information reaches me fast through internet. I am part of a society of instantaneous gratification. The way I live my life explains how exhausted I feel at the end of the day after working/studying full time shuffling kids to sports, travel teams, dancing and martial art classes. Taking care of elderly parents or worrying about the children growing towards adulthood. I still have to carve time to workout, attend PTA meetings, do my volunteer work and read all the books for the book club. Don’t forget to answer the emails/phone calls and take the pet to the vet.

It doesn’t end there. Then there are all the decisions to be made about my eating habits and lifestyle: will it be paleo, organic, vegan, GMO free? Make sure I go to the Farmer’s Market for my fresh fruit and vegetables (If only Wegmans came here…!) Be fit, (be a size 2, if possible), let me see those defined, lean muscles, six packs (HA!). Training for triathlons and running the weekend 5Ks.

Is it possible?

Let me confess: I don’t have it all and, probably like most of you, sometimes I feel guilt I don’t.

Over the last couple months my family and I have had really stressful days. My healthy, clean diet simply went bananas and I don’t even eat bananas! My workouts got pushed back because other “more serious” issues were pulling me in different directions. Something had to go. And it did. I sat struggling to accept my “failure.”

Did I fail? Seriously? I felt anxious. I felt sad. I felt drained. I had no time or energy to cook my balanced meals or show up for my scheduled workouts. It just didn’t happen.

I had to put things in prospective and find balance to get back on track.

So, I slowed down and had a talk with myself: First things first, Levinia! What is your track? What is this balance? In midst of this chaos I decided to create a circle. Inside the circle I put in whatever I could control. The remainder, outside the circle, I allowed myself to accept with peace and grace as a background noise. What I eat or drink is under my control, but when I slack on that, I have to take ownership and responsibility because it is my decision. This way, I find that I can continue loving my body/myself despite my slips.

I make poor decisions – few chips or one more glass of wine. But I love myself enough to forgive, to redirect and to move on.

Can I have it all? NO! But, I can have some of what is inside my circle.